Fifteen Credits

All the children, young and old, are preparing to go back to school or start school for the very first time and parents are getting ready for that first day I can't help but think back to my school days. Part of me is so glad school is over. I hated the drama and the social awkwardness. I was never good at being around people and being forced to talk and smile and be friendly. I hated the mean girls and the mean boys who mocked and made fun of of everyone. I hated struggling to make good grades while my little sister made all A's without hardly lifting a finger. I hated staying up all night long studying or finishing that paper and stressing about if it was OK or not and finally just handing in whatever I had, good or bad. After college, while all my peers prepared to go to graduate school I prepared to enter the work force. This was all I had wanted...a degree so I could start really living life.

And yet, as stressful as it was, some part of me wishes I was back there again. I miss days and nights spent with my room mate and best friend, Sara. I miss learning about first loves and heartbreaks. I miss that I wasn't really an adult yet and therefore tests and papers were my biggest problems in life and I had this future that seemed so bright to look forward to after school was over. Now, life is hard. I hate the politics and drama of adult life. I hate feeling so much stress and responsibility all the time. I want to have a little fun and not worry about my future or anything much at all. I miss the fun classes I took...ballroom dancing, astronomy, horseback riding.

Origin Story

When I first created my blog so many years ago I did it as an assignment in a photojournalism class I took in college. Other than myspace I'd never kept a blog and after the class was over I didn't use it anymore. I took it up again later mostly just because I wanted a place to write. Now, many years later, it's turned into a place to share with friends and family mostly photos of my baby boy along with my thoughts on life and how things are going. It's kind of replaced letters I guess. I started this blog separately as a way to write again just for myself and not for anybody else. Now that everyone reads my blog I have to be careful about what I say because they all have opinions on it. I think that's a good thing but I'd also like a place to just write without fear of sounding stupid or if people like my blog or not or possibly offending anyone even.

A House Divided

SIDE ONE

Ariel Castro is a monster. He is pure evil. Only someone inhuman could do what he did to other human beings. To rape and torture and starve and abuse and kill for 10 years straight...there is no excuse, not reasoning behind it. Only evil. He is one of Satan's minions doing his work here on earth. I believe most people are a mixture of good and evil and have to choose one or the other. I believe most "bad" people have good in them but have chosen the wrong things. However, I also believe there are some "people" in the world who really have no souls, who are purely evil and there is no good in them. Castro is one of these. I do not know if these people are born with souls and something happens or they lose them along the way or if they never had one to begin with. All I know is they exist and Castro is one of them.

SIDE TWO

Perhaps something did happen to make Castro this way. He still had to make the choices he did. Nobody forced him to do those things. But perhaps it made the choice harder due to abuse and porn addictions that basically broke something inside of him. Broke his soul and his mind. It's the cycle of abuse you hear so much about. But the choice must still be made with each new person. Will these girls end it? I hope so. They are going to be broken and messed up forever but they can turn it into something good if they choose. Use it to help others.